Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Poll #1: Buncha Alcoholics

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've added a weekly poll to get a better feel for who it is that stumble across this site and stay long enough to click a radio button.

So the results of the first poll are in, and it ain't pretty:

What's your favorite thing to do on a Friday night?
Get drunk and party!: 53%
Get drunk and watch TV: 23%
Drink and go to sleep early: 15%
I'm homeless: 7%

This data suggests that a whopping 93% of ukulala visitors list "drinking" as part of their favorite things to do on a Friday night. I'm not one to judge, but that might not be a sign of sobriety. At least the majority (53%) like to party while they're drunk.

38% of all ukulala visitors favorite thing to do on a friday night is to drink and go to sleep early or watch TV. That's not a healthy lifestyle.

Perhaps even more worrisome is that 7% of the people who end up on ukulala are homeless. That is really very sad. I'm sorry. I have no idea how you're getting internet access, but homeless people: if you are reading this, you are in the wrong place. Nothing here will help you--I recommend you find a local concerned community organization, or a shelter to help you through this difficult time.

Poll #1 Analysis: Basically, the results of the first poll suggest ukulala visitors up to this point might just be a room of people at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting logging on to pass the time before their next drink.

The next poll ("What's your FAVORITE instrument?" over on the right or wayyyy at the bottom in IE) will help me determine the musical tastes of this mysterious room full of recovering and current homeless alcoholics.

Since we're (and I say "we" because ukulala is Paz and Flora) learning how to make music as an exercise, we will also make a small song based on the poll results. The song will be instrumental, with each instrument used in the proportion it appears in the final results of the poll. It will be a bit more complicated than that because the ukulele will be throughout the song by default, and the last option ("I hate ukuleles") will remove the ukulele by that percentage from the song.

i.e. if the final poll this week says 95% tambourine and 5% drums, the song will be 100% ukulele with 95% tambourine and just a tiny 5% drums. Does that make sense? No? Well, sober up and read it again.

Still no? Whatever, that's how it's gonna work.

ALSO: I've got some good questions so far from the Ask Ukulala Anything box over on the left (and several bad ones which I will answer now: no, I don't have any booze i can send you), so I'm getting ready to post another set of answers. If you want your question in this volume, now's the time to ask it.


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